You know the moment when you slow down long enough to look at your life and where you’re at and you realize your life looks completely different than what you’ve ever pictured but your heart couldn’t be more full? Yeah, that is exactly where I am at.
The other day (and well by the other day, I mean a couple weeks ago. Because you know some times things happen and God is like YO GIRL, heres your next blog post and I’m like great. Thank you. And then I don’t take the time to sit and listen and write until well, weeks later…but that’s not the point. So I’ll move on.) I was driving to New Orleans to visit my family. I grew up going to NOLA often. From my house to my grandparents house, it’s a straight shot. You take I10 all the way and then go towards the west bank. I’ve driven this many times before, I could do it in my sleep. But the last time I went I10 was closed. It was late at night and very dark on the road. And before I knew it (and before I could grab my phone and put it in my GPS) I was being forced off I10 onto a completely different highway. And I had no clue if this road was going to lead me to where I needed to be. I had to fully trust in the signs on the road and hope I was going in the right direction.
As I continued driving I started thinking. (Which we haven’t completely figured out is a good or bad thing) 😉 I also starting talking to God. Some of my best and deepest conversations and revelations happen while I’m driving. I think it is because I am finally alone. And I can’t distract myself.
So as I continue to drive I begin to talk to God. And in that moment, He opens my eyes and a revelation comes to me. God showed me that my life took a “detour.” I went on a completely different route than I would have ever imagined. The past year was crazy. And painful. And uncomfortable. And some people from the outside could probably view is as not smart. And let’s be real here, unbelievably different than most peoples journeys. But it was Gods journey for my life.I’ve learned to trust. I’ve learned to trust God in ways that will allow me to continue to trust in the future. that will help me when doubt comes sneaking in as a reminder Who is in control of my life. And that I can get through anything. I have seen God provide in ways that will allow me to always know He is a provider. I have learned many different ways He cares for us. I have seen His love and beauty in ashes. He has shown me my faith is stronger than I believe. I am stronger than I let myself believe. My relationship with God has become more real than I ever thought possible. All these things that God has revealed to me in this season, no one will ever be able to take away from me. God showed them to me so that in the future, when He calls me into something different (and well, I know that it will probably be something crazy to so many people because I am not going to live an ordinary life) I will already have everything He has taught me as a foundation for who He is.
I know you are all wondering if I made it to my grandparents house or not…
Yes. Haha The road I ended up on actually took me straight to my grandparents house. It took me a little longer to get there than normal, but I made it. Although it was dark, I was able to see a different part of Louisiana that I have never seen before. And I really enjoyed my time with God! So Just like my drive to NOLA, God has brought me to exactly where He wanted me. It took longer than I wanted. It was a completely different way than I would have chosen for myself. Because again, lets be real…I would have chosen the easiest way and for everything to have worked out the way I had planned.
For those of you who haven’t heard, God has provided me a job! That was a prayer request I left with last time. I had been begging Him for direction. I work for the Mission Centers of Houston. We are a local nonprofit who serve the inner city of Houston. Although I probably would have never picked this place for me (because well, Houston is not where I want to spend the rest of my life), I have fallen in love with this place and the people we serve. I am using my gifts to run the office. I love Houston. I have for awhile. But now I get to be the light of Jesus Christ in the city I grew up in. I am doing more administrative work, but thats what my gifts are. But I also still get to walk into my calling of “go and make disciples of all nations…”
This past year was painful, and I am still healing. But I am happy with where I am at right now. I haven’t felt this at peace about where I am in a long time. I know God has brought me to exactly where I am. He is a good Father who provides and gives us what we need. If you would have told my 18 year old self what I would have gone through at age 24-25 and that I would end up being okay at age 26, I WOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY FROM YOU. I wouldn’t have believed a word you said. But here I am. Stronger for the trials and the pain. Thankful for the road I have walked. Thankful for the people God has placed in my life who have been there from day 1, and who have helped me walk, cry, and sometimes crawl back to God.
Awhile back I asked God to show me a passage somewhere in His word as an example of this. He brought me to Exodus 17. Just a beautiful picture of how community works. When I was ready to give up, my people came alongside of me and believed for me. Just like when Moses was tired, Aaron and Hur came alongside of him and helped by holding his arms. And my heart is full.
I always like to leave you with how to pray for me in this season of life. I have a simple prayer request; That even though I am happy and content with where I am, I ask I wouldn’t become too content to stop running fully after God. I ask that you pray that my passion and fire would never cease. And that I would use what I have learned to pour into others.